Cutting The Rope: Managing Relationships and Reality

That’s my ride or die, my BFF, and my ace. Those are all terms of endearment that we use when talking about someone we hold close to us. Plainly put, we’re talking about our friends. We are talking about the people that we can depend on, the ones that we can lean on in times of trouble, and that we can enjoy life with during happy days as well. But friendship comes at a cost. For some people, they forget that your purpose decides who your friends are, you don’t. Your purpose determines the vision, and ultimately the strategy in order to obtain the results that you want. What am I getting at? You have to surround yourself with the type of people that will help you, not hurt you. That will not attempt to keep you in the same average space of living, but instead would push you towards greatness because they want the same for themselves also.

Too often, we have an allegiance to people that have only an allegiance to themselves. And then when the storm hits, our anchor is uprooted and we find ourselves drifting in emotions and frustration. Asking silly questions like, "How did I not see that coming?" Well, you weren't looking, honestly. That's not to be a jerk, but it's true. Do you ever take time to ask the question, "Why am I friends with this person?" Not from the surface level either, I'm talking about the deep answer. What value do I bring to their life, and what do they contribute to mine? It's not an arrogant or pompous thing to consider. If anything, it will free up some space in your life, and heart. Either you will realize that you're just associates, which are easy to detach from when needed, because the relationship is based on proximity and daily routines. While the on the other hand, true friendship is much more impactful. So much so, that it transcends distance. That's why your best friend can live in Australia while you're in San Francisco, and when you see each other you never missed a beat. You both add value to each other. Associates operate on relevance to their immediate needs, there's a difference.

Know this, you do not have to surround yourself with people that only leech off of your life. You have an obligation to be the very best version of yourself that you can possibly be. For you to do anything other than that, is a disservice and injustice to yourself and to the rest of the world. We can no longer allow other people to ride the waves that we created, draft off of our progress forward into the wind and live in our backpacks as we climb the mountain. I once told a group of students this, you cannot climb Mount Everest with deadweight. Cut the net and cut the rope. For too many people, they are dragging others up a mountain that those individuals refuse to walk up themselves. That is ridiculous! Let me ask you a question, if a loved one of yours was trapped in a cave at the top of a mountain, who would you take with you? Would you take that friend that always wants to go out and party and have a good time? Would you call up the person that never picks up the phone, or ever responds in time of need, but ironically responds in time of convenience? Or, would you take that person that knows that loved one on the mountain?

I believe you would take the person that knows the loved one on the mountain. Not even because they might have been the most well equipped, but rather, you know they will do everything in their power to help you reach your family member and loved one, because they love them also. We have to stop letting people live in our lives that don’t care about our lives and only care about themselves. We have to watch the soil in which we plant ourselves in. The seed determines the potential, but the soil determines the growth. If we don’t watch the type of toxins we allow into the soil that we live in, we will find ourselves mutating and becoming things that we were never meant to be. We will find ourselves exhausted and drained because we are sacrificing what was needed for us to succeed, for those that don’t care to succeed in the first place.

Stop doing CPR on a heart that does not want to be revived. Some of us are trying so desperately to hold onto relationships that yield no fruit except for pain. Often times, that is because of a manipulated mindset, that says you owe me. You don’t owe anyone, you owe yourself. In the words of Dr. Eric Thomas, "You owe you!" What that means is that you owe yourself the opportunity to help others with a genuine heart and from the best place that you can push from. But you cannot do that bearing deadweight up a mountain. You are going to have to cut the rope and let some things fall. But do not be afraid, the higher the climb, the thinner the air, but the less pollution you will take in. People that say they want it as bad as you do will weed themselves out and descend down the mountain as the air gets thinner.

And when you Reach the top my friends, you will find other people that made the same sacrifice, journey, and had the same heart that you did. From there, you can build bonds of friendship, compassion and determination to succeed that can never be broken. How can two walk together unless they are on one accord? So, cut the extra weight, find your climbing partner and get to work.