We’ve all had days when we felt as if life was just trying to break us, to rip away our security, and to cause us to come...UNDONE! It's an overwhelming mentality that completely takes over the mind if one isn't careful. In that moment, it feels like everything is against you, the situation is hopeless, and there is nowhere to go. What I’ve noticed though, is that it’s all a mater of perspective and response. I’ve often said this, “You’re not responsible for what life throws at you, you’re only responsible for what you throw back!” What that means is that you always have sending power. Some things you have to receive whether you want them or not, but the master of your response is always going to be you.
I remember in the police academy, we had to get pepper sprayed. Now, contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t a right of passage or some form of hazing. They wanted us to know what the other person would be experiencing if we ever had to utilize pepper spray during an incident. Being that my last name is Wilson, just like in grade school, I went almost last. It was a blessing and a burden. On one hand, I got to watch everybody else scream, cry, freak out, and totally lose their ‘you know what.’ On the other hand, I knew that eventually it was going to be my turn. So, after getting the laughs out I realized that some of my classmates were totally crushing this seemingly horrible experience. Mind you, it was horrible, but again, it’s all in how you respond.
The crappy part, for some, was that if you freaked out too much, and refused to go through the combat course, you got sprayed again, haha. Sucked for them! But, I got wise after the first few people went, and I started watching different tactics that my classmates were using to focus their attention on the combat course, and not the fact that their eyeball and face was going through the fifth circle of Hades. And, wouldn’t you know it, next up, it was my turn.
I remember stepping forward, and just saying to myself, “This is going to suck, but you better not freak out and lose your cool like some of your classmates. Keep it together Wilson!” Before I knew it, the devil had spit in my face, and it was ablaze. From there, I had to keep my eyes open, guard up and work through the obstacle course. One of the first obstacles was to give commands and knee strikes to a dummy that was set up. Then, I had to deliver rapid fire strikes to a pad that was being held by an instructor. After that course of action I had to walk down a narrow sidewalk, and as I was approached by an unknown role player, I had to determine if they had a weapon, or a cell phone in their hands, while giving commands an taking the best action.
Then came the best part...so I thought! It was finally over, and time to wash it all off with cold water from a hose. I had done it, I had kept it together, and not panicked. Then, the cold water hits my face, and reignites the pepper spray while literally taking my breath away. I had to lock down what was happening in my head, and not give way to what I was feeling. I had to determine what was reality, and was made up. What was permanent, and what was temporary. So, I told myself, “It’s just water, and it’s just pain...they both will run out before you do!”
When I felt myself coming undone, I had to immediately take complete ownership. I took ownership of the situation, and most of all, my response. So, when you feel yourself coming undone in life, just remember that you are in control of what you send back...no matter what it is. You are able to slow your mind down, and determine what is temporary, and what is permanent. What will fade, or stay, benefit, or damage. You need to know that you are ABLE to re-twist your cords, and not come UNDONE!